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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
When your girlfriend or wife says "lol have fun", do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
Do you know who invented the Knock Knock joke? I don`t know either, but whoever did should get a no bell prize.
A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world ...Oh sorry ...That`s wine ...Wine does that.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
The problem with diets is pizza.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
I´m really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.