Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
I`m scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I`ll run them under cold water for half a second
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
All alcohol will make my clothes fall off… tequila just makes that happen in public.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
I just threw up my weekend.
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
When my dog sniffs another dog’s poop I can only assume that it’s their equivalent to checking a friend’s facebook page.