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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
I put the hot in psychotic.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...