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Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool then you should just give me all of your money because you’re wasting it
CPR is the human version of blowing in to a video game cartridge hoping it`ll work again.
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.