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The most annoying are those people in great shape at the gym…. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
I don`t get personal trainers. I`ve never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.