Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to drink while I clean and that`s how I found out what Febreze tastes like.
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch