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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.