Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn`t right all the time.
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
TEIAM - problem solved
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?