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We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.