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The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem