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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
I’d like to think I’ve taught Citibank a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards all willy-nilly.
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why didn`t you text me? I`ll never call you back. Like, ever. You`d have better luck with a telegram.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL