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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
F*ck spiders. F*ck them and the way they move their legs, f*ck their ability to multiply by the million and f*ck their eight, beady little black eyes that offer unblinking, soulless glimpses of the blackest depths of hell itself.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.