Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!