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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
Iām in no shape to exercise.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
Iām going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.