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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
When it`s raining I don`t work, when its sunny I don`t work, when its cloudy I call in sick!
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
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Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?