Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable?
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
When you realize that your car matches the one in the Amber Alert.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Which one of you is Moderation? I keep getting told we need to drink together.
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.