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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I`m not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
Good thing Jan Brady`s older sister wasn`t named Beetlejuice
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.