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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."