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I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
This status has been censored by Facebook
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...