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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
Some people just need to be clothes lined
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.