Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
Couch pillows are really just fart silencers.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
For Display Only` signs on the toilets at Home Depot. Sorry guys my bad. ;)
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.