Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
This stupid lady is taking forever using her damn coupons for her groceries. All these rolls of pennies are heavy! Hurry up!
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you`re doing it.
If McDonaldΒ΄s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.