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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.