Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
My life coach just benched me.
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy