Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
Save your little napkin, bartender. I don’t plan on having this drink long enough to set it down.
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it`s an intervention.
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
I spend my weekends farting in libraries and then shushing people that complain.