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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
My boss just asked me why I wasn`t working.. ..i told em cuz I didn`t see him coming
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
For daylight savings, we should move the clocks forward an hour on Monday at 9 AM so that we lose an hour of work instead of sleep.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.