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I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed ... Again.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But Iām skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Never laugh at your wife`s choices. You are one of them :)
I have some serious self-esteem issues. The last time I posted a selfie I first cropped myself out of it.