Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm. 2. Morons.
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, āIām not crazy!ā and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?