Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
Im thinking about writing a book about my life, I just have to wait for the statue of limitations to expire.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
I always hear people say that a dog is man`s best friend, but I don`t even have enemies who`ll look me dead in my face while taking a sh!t on my carpet.
Thanks to yesterday`s chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.