Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
French people give me the crepes.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.