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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
What number SPF blocks people?
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I gave my dog a middle name today, so he knows when he`s really in trouble.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
How do I tell a man he loves me?
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who`s car I`m borrowing.
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.