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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
At a four way stop, it`s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.