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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
I´m the kind of person that when my feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, HE´S UP"!
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
Honestly, it`s not the way I look that reveals my age. It`s my use of complete sentences, proper grammar and spelling when I text.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk