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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That`s ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.