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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Even if your life was a total waste of space, there’s always hope that you’ll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
Bored, so I’m going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him I’m him from the future.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.