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How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.