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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
i like boobs
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.