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This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
I hate when people try to make small talk on the elevator. "How`s it going?", "How about the weather?", "Where are your pants?".
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but Iām trying to be proactive.
Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either