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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
It`s a beautiful Spring day to get outside and stare at your phone.
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ``Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?``
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
I get as much action as a white crayon.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.