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Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?