Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
I like the part of the day where we eat the food.
Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight. - The Swiss Army
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
Revenge is best served to someone`s toothbrush.
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life