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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.