Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
Sober me makes plans and drunk me cancels them. Its a good system.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Sometimes there just aren’t enough curse words.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
The amount of time my smartphone spends plugged in charging, you might as well want to call it a Land-line
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.