Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
If I text with “Almost there!” I haven’t left yet.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
Apparently, when asked "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin` large ones" is not the correct answer.
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
I hate it when I have guests at my house and they ask "Do you have a bathroom?" No, we poop in the yard.