Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
Jake from State Farm works some very crappy hours.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.