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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I can’t wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie. 5% - That was a complete waste of money. 85% - I gotta pee!!
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn`t stolen.