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I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
My panic room is a walk-in beer cooler at the liquor store.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
I want to sleep tighter
Line forms here for spankings