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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Awkward moment when you don’t know if you were offered gum out of generosity or if your breath stinks.
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
My therapist just offered me my money back.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation… My Czech is in the mail!
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
The only people without problems are in the cemetery.
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!