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I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)