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I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut
I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)