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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel