Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
The closest I got to a 4.0 at university… was my blood alcohol level!
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
Give me a fish & I`ll cook you dinner. Teach me to fish & I`ll just be sitting there in the boat with you getting drunk.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
“I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.