Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.
Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!