Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
People say that I have no idea what hard work is. That`s not true! I know exactly what it is... How do you think I avoid it so easily?