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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.