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Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Marriage: an expensive way to get your laundry done for free..
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.