Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
It`s pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that Iām married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.